I have this tendency of never taking advise, despite how much I may actually need it. I’ve always believed that experience is the best teacher. Someone can preach to you day and night and some may adhere to the advise and live by it, but I am the type that does not, and perhaps that’s my biggest flaw.
I spent the most part of my summer in an escape mode, and I didn’t realize it until recently. I started asking myself how and why I had gotten to this place in my life where I had accepted dysfunctional behavior as a norm and sadly as something that defines me. Our generation is absorbed into a culture that permits anything and celebrates everything regardless of how truly dysfunctional it is and we all accept it as a norm. As a result we tend to move through the motions of life without ever questioning the different strategies we’ve adopted in dealing with our own disappointments.
Part of this dysfunction is embedded in the way we choose to self medicate. whether it’s alcohol, drugs or sex, self medication really just means anything that you choose to indulge in order to fulfill your need to escape your current circumstances. No one really talks about it we learn to adjust to our dysfunction and start calling it fun, and it becomes the basic foundation of our social gatherings.
If we started being honest with ourselves we would realize that we only indulge in order to escape , to run, and to our disappointment we find that what we are running from will always find us. When we run out of distractions, we are confronted with the same realities we were so eager to dismiss by pretending like they don’t exist.
We run in circles which brings us back to the same starting point and we play the game again; we indulge again and again hoping that in time we can master enough courage to put whatever dysfunction away and truly deal with the WHY? why do I feel the need to do X and Y when I know that it a destructive.
Maybe you won’t know the answer right way and that’s okay, the most important part in the journey is admitting to your own dysfunctional thinking, recognizing the gaps within your own life and admitting that you are your own worst enemy at times.
I’am learning that the most challenging part in taking responsibility of our own lives is forgiving ourselves time and time again. The gaps that we create by not forgiving ourselves leads to a vicious cycle of shame and guilt where nothing can take place than self pity and self loathing and waiting in vain for someone to partake with us in our pity party . What is at the core of our inability to accept and forgive ourselves is our flawed understanding of God’s forgiveness.
“You Can’t blame your way to Freedom” Freeway
When we think about freedom and what it entails in relation to our own lives we come to realize that there is no freedom outside of ownership. Without owning your mistakes, you stay in bondage of a messy past that limits your ability of stepping into a limitless future with the promise that God is with you at every step guiding and directing you. What I’m learning is that there is no freedom without responsibility without admitting that at times it’s not always other’ people’s fault but we can also be our own worst enemy.
In humility I hope we learn to stop playing the blame game, always eager to point our fingers at how everyone else has done us wrong, and start taking ownership of our lives. Understanding that without owning all the different versions of ourselves with no judgement we cannot move into what God has planned for us. A life of freedom where you are not so caught up in the vicious cycle of shame and guilt but you are set free.God gives you the courage and strength to stand in your convictions to admit to your own failures without feeling like they are the most important defining moments of your life.