Why you Need Friends that Love God more than Your Ego

Friends who know the word of God, will hold you accountable when you slip and fall , they won’t think backsliding is something to joke about rather a sin to mourn over.No matter how much we constantly claim to want truth, no one appreciates truth if it bruises your ego. The only truth we eagerly accept is one that affirms our ideas about ourselves and we love to hear truths about ourselves that do nothing in changing our flawed characters but rather push us to be more comfortable with attitudes that take us further away from Christ.

If You are anything like me then you would identify yourself as someone who is inherently very stubborn and a rebellious  at times. Hence when confronted with some uncomfortable truths about myself whether its from a loving place I’ve been know to be quick in dismissing anything that hurts my feelings.  I have been blessed with friends that have told me the truth unfiltered which has completely shattered my lil ego and I’ve probably not appreciated any of it. Looking back now it is evident that; more than preserving my ego they were more concerned with Loving God in how they chose to interact with me, by simply telling me the truth when it was the least appreciated.

Unfiltered Truth

Nothing irks me more than the statement you know better. Nothing confirms your own lack of will or willingness to act in ignorance than the single statement You know better. On my worst days when confronted with my failing fleshly desires and ultimately my fall into sin the phrase you know better hurts more than simply being ignorant. There is responsibility attached to knowing better. There is a great burden for believers to act in accordance with the word of God and when we fail, its the statement you know better which consumes us.

In Proverbs 27:5-6  we learn that

Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend , but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

The friends who will openly tell you that you know better and in the short term bruise your ego are far more beneficial to your christian walk than the ones who fail to tell you the truth rather watch you while you continuously live below the standard of your calling.

Convey God’s Truth

As a believer it is important to surround yourself with people who share the same faith.The word of God is convicting and sometimes we choose to ignore convictions and it’s important to have that one friend or two who will regardless of your feelings convey the truth of God’s word in love. As much as I talk about truth, there are some days that I would much rather pretend like I’m ignorant, to act as if I don’t know any better and it is in those moments where I tend to appreciate my ability to fellowship and most importantly the gift of  a Godly friendship that is governed by the true word of God. It is in those specific moments where I appreciate statements like I’ve prayed for you. Nothing speaks the true measure of love than a friend who simply pleads with God on your behalf.

Edifying Truth

Ephesians 4:29
Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.

Friends that build you up not based on what they deem to be wisdom but edification through the word of God is vital to our christian walk. I’m learning now more than ever to pray for friendships that are edifying. To be constantly surrounded by Christians who are convicted and who live out the christian life so transparently in unapologetic ways but yet with wisdom to give correction where they see fit.

Hebrews 3:13 provides a mandate for friendships stating;

“But exhort one another daily, while it is called today, lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin”

The edifying truth of God will build you up when the trickery of sin seeks to drag you into the pits of Guilt and shame. Friends that know the word of God will gracefully remind you of Roman 8:1

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the spirit.”

Encourage you 

Man I don’t know about you but there is nothing easy about changing and growing up, while going through seasons of growth it is so easy to retrieve to old habits, to put yourself in environments that cause stagnation to your growth. How do we maneuver through the different seasons  without friends that can hold us  accountable and ultimately challenge the choices that we make. 

In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 we learn that;

“Two are better than one,because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up”

  1. As we mature in our relationship with Jesus Christ, we will face tremendous challenges, moments of doubt and perhaps discouragement. In the face of each challenge we are sure to overcome each season if we have one or two friends in whom we can confide in, confess our sins to, encourage us and ultimately hold us accountable to the standard that God has put in place for us.

My hope and Prayer for you is that God can gift you with one or two friends who know his word, who are not afraid to speak his word in love. Friends who are more concerned about your spiritual life than simply preserving your ego. Friends who are less concerned about  cultivating complacency in your christian walk  while failing to tell you the truth but rather loving God more than preserving your fractured ego.





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